The New India of Cow Age

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Welcome to the New India. This is nothing but a world of a Cow Age India. In this Cow Age India, Cows have ultimately achieved an up gradation. From non-citizenship, they have acquired citizenship. They will be offered an Aadhaar number which will become a proof of her Indian Citizenship. About eight crore cows which did not have an identity proof of her Indian Citizenship will ultimately get an identity. Cows must be very happy that after denial of her citizenship, a cow friendly government has come to her rescue and offering her Indian citizenship.

Now all the welfare services for the cows can be easily routed through the Aadhaar number. It will be linked to her Jan Dhan accounts. All the welfare services for cows like fodder supply (food subsidies), veterinary care (health insurance), salaries of security guards (gau rakshaks), housing schemes (animal sheds), old age pensions, gas subsidies (gobar gas) will be routed through the Aadhhar number. Direct transfer of welfare schemes to Jan Dhan accounts through Aadhaar number will cut down the corruption. The cows will receive their benefits directly into their accounts.

Imagine the hi-tech cows with an Aadhaar card, Smart Phones and Paytm carrying out cashless transactions. Imagine the hi tech Gau Rakshaks instead of sticks carrying AK 47 rifles offering security to cows. Imagine the cow mother (gau mata) transferring her blessings online at a click of a mouse to her human worshippers. These are the Cows of the Digital India.

It was mentioned in 2014 that the new government would lay emphasis on job creation. See the world of emerging jobs. The gau rakshaks are increasing by leaps and bounds. With 8 crore cows in India, at the rate of one security guard for five cows, atleast 1.6 core gau rakshaks can be created. The current gau rakshaks already have a regular employment. They only need to identify people carrying cows, suspect people eating beef (real or imaginary) and only need to beat
them up. They need to specially target dalits and minorities. They will be offered complete protection by the state. Imagine the number of days of employment that will get created in the process of creating Aadhaar for cows. Imagine the number of Gau shalas that will get created and the employment created as a result.

But an issue that arises is how to distinguish between a Hindu cow and a Muslim cow. Are all the cows Hindus, which will receive a special status? Do all the cows belong to an upper caste and thus will receive special status by the state. Are all the cows of the world automatically Indians by Nationality. Are Indian cows and Pakistani cows enemies of each other? Are there Indian cows, which are Muslims by religion and automatically by their religion potential terrorists?
Are all the Hindu cows’ affiliates of RSS and carriers of Hindutva? What about the stand on Triple Talaq among Muslim cows. Are all of them in favour of Ram Mandir? There is a lot of confusion.

These epistemological and ontological questions require an immediate answer? Hindutva friends, please answer these.

By an Indian citizen

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