My younger brother, Rick, wasn’t meant to be born. That is — he wound up as an accidental birth concerning which my mother had mistakenly gotten pregnant only one month after I was born.
Her ob-gyn was alarmed by the occurrence. He was the one, along with my mother and my father since the twosome were co-joined in decision-making about my mother, responsible for her reproductive health, the physiological system related to creation of new babies and delivery of babies, etc. He, thus, served as an advisor and helper to them as he was educated in such matters. So he acted as an adjunct to their pair. So three people worked on the issue.
Accordingly, he told my mother that she was physically depleted since I had been born approximately a year after my sister and my mother was physically frail for that closeness in timing and for other reasons. So he said that he could quietly take care of the issue for her if she and my father desired it. (You know about what he meant.)
The question was … would my mother and father want this action of terminating a pregnancy at a time when it was illegal to do so and when many abortions lead to death since, when done in an alley or at home, it involved sticking a coat hanger tip up inside or some other drastic, desperate measure. Then infection often set into a woman’s body. Ugly. Painful way to die!
So he was presenting an alternative method in a sterile medical setting. As a doctor, who was dedicated to protecting life, he felt it was his duty to try to preserve the life of my mother. Indeed, he’d joyously delivered my older sister.
After he informed my mother of his thoughts, my parents calmly talked it over. What should they do? They, after much self-introspection and discussion, both decided to go through with the pregnancy and birth of this unintended, although welcomed, child.
The birth, itself, was a nightmare since my mother was spewing forth massive amounts of blood from a severely torn uterine wall. (Yes, she was, indeed, frail at that point as her doctor had indicated was the case.) Meanwhile two IV lines with fresh blood going into both of her arms full blast for maximum amounts that could be received couldn’t keep up with the flow leaving her between her legs. She was getting depleted and starting to die on account.
Therefore, the new big question became then: “Do you want us to save the baby or the mother?” Added was: “We can’t carry out both initiatives. Sorry. Pick.”
My parents adamantly refused to choose and my mother’s goodly ob-gyn, ruminating on their lack of a definitive response, said, “I have a novel idea. Should I try it?”
As my parents responded affirmatively, he, knowing that you clamp down on a wound site to stop blood flow, reached both of his hands, way smaller than a baby coming out, up inside of my mother, gently turned my brother around to an upright position without strangling him in the umbilical cord and, then, used my brother’s soft skull to stop the bleeding.
Rick’s head literally was patiently pressed up against the hemorrhaging area for quite some time until my mother clotted in the bleeding area. It took quite a while, especially with my mother’s birth contractions trying to abort the maneuver to keep my brother twisted upside-down and gently held into one place inside her body.
After the success to stop the blood flow, the baby was carefully turned into the opposite direction, removed manually and brought to the baby nursery. My mother, nearly blood depleted, was tended and left to recover from having nearly stopped living. She was sent to a special hospital unit meant for people at risk for death.
Now let’s go forward a few years. When I was five, I’d yell at my mother, “He’s at it again. Stop him!”
My brother, repeatedly rummaging through off-limit drawers in my family’s household, found some more matches used for barbeque, plant debris fires in the backyard and fireplace. With them, he was trying to light a fire on the living room rug!
These days I’m, in retrospect, not surprised by the activity. After all three activities combined and to be described herein have a very high correlation with narcissistic anti-social behavior disorder.
The three have to exist together. Two alone is no indication and they are: fascination with fire and trying to create them, prolonged bed wetting and torture of animals.
In any case at present, I’m not surprised at the happening of my brother repeatedly trying to light fires and simultaneously exhibiting the other related maladies for the affliction. (You don’t want to know the details, especially the ones related to animal torture. Trust my opinion on this topic! You simply don’t want to be told about what he did to animals.)
Dr. Wanda Woodward sums up well the overall situation:
In 1963, a psychiatrist, J. M. MacDonald, published a paper titled “The Threat to Kill” in the American Journal of Psychiatry. His research of sadistic hospitalized patients who had threatened to kill identified three common behaviors for psychopathology that occurred during their childhood: bedwetting, fire setting, and cruelty to animals. Three years later, a paper was published in the same scholarly journal which stated that, based upon additional research, the “MacDonald Triad” was predictive of future criminal behavior. People who perform acts of cruelty to animals including those who severely neglect animals are particularly mentally disturbing. It has been stated that, as a young boy, George W. Bush had a fondness for putting firecrackers in the mouths of frogs and blowing them up. When I was in undergraduate school, my psychology professor relayed the story of an anxious woman who brought her eight (8) year old son to her because he was cutting open the stomachs of cats and birds. The professor told the classroom that he was a budding psychopath and there was likely nothing that was going to change that clinical diagnosis.
Narcissistic personality disorder, sociopathy, and psychopathy have one thing in common: they are disorders whose primary personality trait is the obsession with control, domination of, and power over others, whether that is people, animals, the environment, systems, or organizations. Mental health clinicians know that the prognosis for all three of these is extremely poor, particularly the latter two. The greatest fear of someone who has these disorders is to be, or be perceived as, vulnerable, weak, not in control, and imperfect. This is why they have a fear or hatred of women, and why women are devalued, denigrated, and subjugated—-because feminine ways of being and ideologies are antithetical to control and domination of people, animals, or organizations. — Taken from Masculine Pathology: A World Out Of Control … .
I know all about the condition that Wanda describes. So does my sister since the males, back at least since the 1600’s on my mother’s side of the family, have exhibited this demented state of mind.
There are two other ways to identify them, too, besides the three behaviors combined. One is through a test and here is the sort of test question posed:
An older woman and her younger sister are at their mother’s funeral. The younger sibling asks about whom the handsome stranger is at the funeral. The elder one doesn’t know, but dies from murder a month later. Who killed her?
Sociopaths immediately know the answer and love to show their brilliance — their superiority over common thought patterns. The answer, of course, is the younger sister was the killer according to the people with this sickness since she wanted to hopefully see the handsome stranger again at another family funeral.
The third method is though a brain scan. They have abnormally small areas of the brain related to empathy, compassion and morals. Atrophied there.
So no amount of therapy can really help them since their problem is structural more than behavioral in foundation. In other words, a psychiatrist talking with them again and again can have no basic corrective measures.
Besides, they have very little inhibition and self-consciousness, these sorts of sick people. They don’t care about whatever others think of them. So they can be glib and charming without insecurity in public speaking or other social events since often it doesn’t matter about the way that they are perceived.
Their sum-up is this:
“The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder include: grandiose sense of importance, preoccupation with unlimited success, belief that one is special and unique, exploitative of others, lacks empathy, is arrogant, and is jealous of others. These symptoms cause significant distress in a person’s life.”- taken from Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Symptoms & Treatment | Psych Central
I’m sorry for their potential distress, but hardly as much as if your father, my mother’s brother, and your own brother exhibit the symptoms and you’re a girl in a family like my cousin, Anne’s. Imagine her facing two of these types at once while growing up!
Then again, you ought to see the impacts that simply having a single lone narcissist in a family can make – a brother like mine — lighting fires, torturing animals and bed wetting. You also ought to see him go after you as a child as he is relentless in serving his own aims and has no moral standards, a true Machiavellian monster!
Around four percent of people are born with this malady from a genetic foundation. However, their number can rise to as high as approximately twenty percent in dysfunctional societies wherein people are taught that it’s okay to take advantage of and harm others for self-gain.
Accordingly, my advice to you: Keep away from these dangerous sorts of people. Trust me as I know fully well, as does my sister and our cousin, about the damage that they can unleash.
The oddity concerning this all is not that people in this mental illness category love power, control and self-importance. Likewise the strangeness is not that they often connive to obtain these conditions through nearly any means possible. Simultaneously, it is not that their genetic anomalies survive generation after generation since they are so adept at survival.
Instead it is strange that they keep getting voted into positions of high command. It does cause one to wonder about the rest of us!
Why do so many of us do this action? Well, perhaps we want tough leaders. …
If Humble People Make the Best Leaders, Why Do We Fall for Charismatic Narcissists? Margarita Mayo, Harvard Business Review The research is clear: when we choose humble, unassuming people as our leaders, the world around us becomes a better place.
Donald Trump has ‘dangerous mental illness’, say psychiatry experts at Yale conference
Trump is not fit to lead the US. The group of psychiatrists has claimed the President was “paranoid and delusional” and said it was their “ethical responsibility” to warn the American public about the dangers his psychological state poses to the country. “I’ve worked with murderers and rapists. I can recognise dangerousness from a mile away. You don’t have to be an expert on dangerousness or spend fifty years studying it like I have in order to know how dangerous this man is.” Dr Gartner has called for Trump to be removed from office as he is “psychologically incapable of competently discharging the duties of President”. Duty to Warn, which consists of psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers, signed an open letter warning that his mental state “makes him incapable of serving safely as president” with his tendency to “distort reality” to fit his “personal myth of greatness” and attack those who challenge him. This tendency was likely to increase in a position of power.
Please trust my understandings. I grew up with a afflicted brother every single day of my childhood and further onward as an adult. So I truly understand its dangerous personally and in terms of our society as a whole. So does my sister – the one discussed here: The Good Sister, A Model For US All! | Countercurrents. So does my cousin and so many others whose lives get corrupted daily by such ailments.
My sister and I both independently started researched this particular malady that our brother has around fifteen years ago without knowing that the other sister was doing so. Then one day, my sister told me of her suspicions about our family and the illness while her views were like looking in a mirror to my own. Such a close duplication!
So all that we can state is: Stay away as much as possible from these people. Especially do not vote them into government office or high positions in businesses! You do so at your own peril!
As John Scales Savery stated, “Looking at human nature, both from the standpoint of evolution and from that of everyday experience, we see the two faces of Janus: one face shines radiantly; the other is dark and menacing. Two souls occupy the human breast, one warm and friendly, the other, murderous. Humans have developed a genius for cooperation, the basis for culture and civilization; but they are also capable of genocide; they were capable of massacres during the Crusades, capable of genocidal wars against the Amerinds, capable of the Holocaust, of Hiroshima, of the killing-fields of Cambodia, of Rwanda, and of Darfur. – From
We may not be able to stop the misery and/or carnage that mentally ill or ignorant, brainwashed others create. We may not be able to avoid on a family level as my sister and I experienced or a whole societal level, such as was shown during Nazi Germany and in current warfare on a global scale by some countries.
Yet, we can educate ourselves about maladaptive behaviors and resist as best as possible the allurement of diminution of others; we can personally reject domination of others (our kind and other species) and the ruin of the natural world as a whole. We can resist destruction of peoples in other and our own nations whose resources we want and whose lives we devalue in our lust to raise ourselves into being “the top dog.” In short, we CAN resist the Ricks of the world, but only if we see them for who they are and with firm adamancy stand up together to reject and thwart their violent patterns!
Sally Dugman is a writer in MA, USA.