Bismillaàh
Some experiences sometimes in this journey called life are beyond words and description .The magnitude of their impact unmeasurable ……all these years I have carried a mystical enigmatical experience within me..merged into my being …the outer self questioning …is it true …possible ? the “ruh” never in doubt of this happening!
A normal hectic working day I came back home , a mind rushing and gushing, overflowing with designs for the upcomming exibition … tired way past midnight I fell asleep , I-Pad in hand the room aglow in the light of the camphor lamp …the smell of camphor and bergamot intoxicating …magical fluttering images created on the walls by the tea light burning inside the lamp … I fell asleep unaware of the mysteries that were waiting to unfold ,an experience that would set into motion a series of synchronistic happenings …
Deep into theta sleep oblivious … I begin my journey to the beautiful realms of the divine cosmos .I find myself in dream land .
There is a sense of panicked urgency and dread.. I am running from some nasty experience.
Scared and petrified I see a flight of stairs, I am running ..a golden door opens without me seeing … I have with me my loved ones a knowing deep within even in the dream state that now I can protect them .I see them sitting behind me huddled tired . As each breath normalizes I realize it is a room filled with a golden glow . I ask with assured surity – knowing there is no one there “where am i? ”
A voice says ‘yeh kaàba hai ‘ (this is the kaàba)
I question in a state of trance “yeh kaise ho sakta hai ,yahan toh ek kala pathar hota hai “(how can this be !a black stone should be here then ). Ì look around my eyes searching for what I do not know… I see 3 pillars from the floor to the roof , a gold plate on a wall shinning …
The voice comes back resounding and assured says “you are now safe ” !
I bow down on my knees the fear and tiredness vanishing …each cell as if renewed with a new energy .I remember being in a state of complete surrender ..in sajda ..a knowing that I am safe protected ,I fell asleep inside these enigmatical four walls that is the pivot around which the unconditional faith of the living billions revolves !
How long after that the dream lasted I have no recollection .The morning noises brought me out of my sleepy reveriè..bewildered ,dazed-‘ what had conspired during the night ?’
My internal chaos makes me return home from work within hours ! Beginning my frantic quest for some answer on the internet.After a long tiring search I came across a video filmed inside the kaàba. The 2 minute footage leaving me in a jaw dropping baffled state of perplexed amazement !!!
It is exactly as i had seen it !!! Till date a simple picture or conversation puts me instantly in that magnificient energy vortex inside the four walls of supreme divinity !
The saga does not end here …the very next day the moment I reach my studio my fabric vendor from rajasthan is waiting to meet me .his first words are ‘i am going to ajmer shariff would you like to give money to be put in the ‘degh ‘and for the chaddar’.A sign for me it surely was ! Does’nt end there …a few days later my parents and I were visiting my father’s sworn sister in Dhakka a devout pious ‘haji’. The very first day she requested me to fetch a box from the refridgerater which had just arrived for her grandson . She gave me a small vial filled with the sacred zamzam water and the customary dates her friend had just got back after haj …all I could in that moment do was to stare at what I held in my hands! …a force silently affirming the validity of my earlier experience ?
Back in kolkatta a few days later another sleepy dream shows me performing the ‘tawaf’ circumbulating… walking in a trance amidst plentitude of overflowing tears .
My souls experience of this ambrosial transcedental sequence of events is forever etched on the heart of my consciousness….A few days later reading late at night my tablet hung….it opened to a urdu page .I went back to the book I was reading but 5 min later it again opens a page with urdu and english translation.written on that page is the ‘ayat -ul-kursi’ the most powerful ayat in the ‘Quran ‘. By now I knew I was being steered by forces unknown. My right-brain and left-brain had stopped warring with each other !
A few months later in delhi at my parents house I happened to meet a luminary from the religious world of islam. Within minutes I found myself questioning him about the validity of what had transpired .Hearing me with his gaze locked somewhere on the floor below .. .he looked up straight into my eyes read a prayer and blessed me .As I write this today I choose to understand that ‘knowing’ quixotic silent look of the ‘murshid’ the benevolent slow smile on his face as he heard the ramblings of his ‘murid’.
Inside the haloed walls of my physical being the outward limitations of religion lie crumbled….anointed and consecrated by the beatific celestial light guiding me on a journey unknown ………
From my standpoint today .. had I had a dream visitation by jesus or prayed at the wailing wall it would be normal ..but this vision raises eyebrows and places questions on my belief system simply because I am born into a hindu family ? I wonder why what is so taboo about this ? My logical mind still questions these happenings ….but the mysteries of the mind are incomprehensible …
This for someone may be controversial a day provocative …. but the day we can rise above the restricting confines of religion caste and creed its a simple truth ‘life is beautiful’, each one of our path may be different but ultimately the end destination is the same -a cremation ground or a graveyard !
Surrealism is destructive, but it destroys only what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision! ‘
Salvador dàli
Shalini Newar is a designer and artist