Let’s Talk About It: ‘a HOLE-lot in your life’


We’re all mindful about the tragedy which has taken place recently, yes I’m talking about Sushant Singh Rajput’s suicide, I thought even I should talk about the importance of mental well-being here. The news has stunned all of us since at some place or the other we were associated with him even despite the fact that it was through web-based social media or motion pictures. It’s so difficult to process the fact that he had gotten into such a helpless stage that he couldn’t think of anything besides taking his own life. I don’t blame him because it is not something he wanted. Much the same as everybody he had dreams and aspirations to accomplish something. We as a whole must’ve pondered that what must have been the reason behind such a major step. But we never attempted to believe that even with all the good things in life an individual must be going through a ton mentally. There’s not bliss behind every grin, the individual must be concealing many sentiments and feelings that you have no clue about. We don’t have the foggiest idea what he was experiencing and that he had no one to converse with or go to making him so powerless that he chose to bite the dust. He was unable to think of a better way or solution.

We live in a generation where it is completely normal to feel upset or irritable every now and then. But if these feelings don’t go away and you start to feel overwhelmingly helpless and hopeless, you may be suffering from depression.

There is no particular reason or cause for it and sometimes you don’t even realize that you are suffering from depression. The cause can either be family issues, breakups, academic pressure, some serious health condition or just anything. There is no justified reason for it, it can happen to anyone and at any age.

Your friends may be suffering from it, or your parents or anyone you know, but you won’t even get to know that the person sitting right next to you is suffering from such a thing.

Depression isn’t just about feeling sad, it makes you so vulnerable, so indecisive and even makes you do things which you wouldn’t want to do.

It is as serious as some physical injury, in fact more severe that can change the way you think and function in your daily life, causing problems at home, school and your social life. When you are depressed you feel that no one will understand or even listen to you and that is why you don’t talk about it. That is where you go wrong, and you don’t realize how important it is to let things out, talk about how you’re feeling to someone even if it is a professional help. You don’t have to question yourself for seeking professional help because in the end it is going to help you out.

Sometimes these feelings become so overwhelming that you can’t think of any solution beside harming yourself or other, you need to get help right away.

Professional help really makes a difference because there you can be who you are, and speak about your feelings without any fear of getting judged or interrupted. You can speak your heart out to your counselor/therapist and they’ll listen to you no matter what. You’ll be able to speak in confidence to someone who understands what you’re going through and can help you deal with your feelings.

In the society we’re living in some people don’t usually consider depression as a serious issue. If an individual with a big house, good cars and a happy family is suffering from depression people will say things like ‘arey isko depression kaise hoga he has everything in life’ (Oh! But how will he get depression – he has everything in life) and things like these. But that’s not true, even after achieving everything in life you can be depressed. In-spite of having a good and a settled life you can completely feel isolated and vulnerable. It makes a hole in your life that you can’t escape. One out of five people have depression and they’re scared to talk it out or seek any help. Some because of the orthodox society and the fact that ‘log kya sochenge’ (what will people think).

I mean you don’t have to live for those individuals, in the end you have to live for yourself and your well-being. In the act of contending with the world you will in general lose what you really are. You over burden and stress yourself so much that it attracts negative energies to you making you feel disheartened and discouraged. In the end it has a very bad impact on your performance, you start losing interest in what you usually love doing, you distance yourself from your family and friends and you start living in a shell allowing no one to enter. You think that you can deal with it all alone yet that is false, you need somebody to know about your state before its past the point of no return.

Depression in teens

Depression has become extremely common in teens nowadays and I don’t think it’s their fault. We live in such a competitive world, always demanding from us to do better, score well and be good at everything, the mental pressure turns out to be such a great amount to take that teenagers do begin to feel inferior and discouraged. Always thinking to be better than the other person puts them in a very wretched state. Not talking about every other teenager here, however some set of children do wind up getting into misery. Everyone’s mental capacity to take such challenges varies. Some become great in what they do and some tend to fail even when they’re good at it because they’re not able to perform under such pressure.

We are sufficiently fortunate to be a part of the age where people are bringing forward the issue of depression and how to deal with it. People have started talking about depression. There are such a significant number of workshops being held, counseling sessions occurring & even social assistance addressing the same.

Seeking any kind of professional help does make a difference in your confidence and how you think about life. It helps you get better and do better. There shouldn’t be any stigma attached to seeking professional help for your better emotional well-being.

It’s better to be mentally fit, to be physically fit. They work simultaneously, with a terrible emotional well-being you won’t be able to have a healthy life and you will end up getting worse.

Also this lockdown due to COVID-19 pandemic has taken a very bad toll on everyone’s mental health. We don’t have a clue about how we feel any longer. We all are going through disturbed sleep patterns, messed up daily life schedule and what not. We don’t enjoy doing things we generally did. It has made all of us so lethargic, trying so hard every day to get up, perform our daily tasks, to be normal and happy. And it’s totally okay to feel this way, because none of us was ready for a situation like this. It’s okay to not attend any webinars or online classes, it’s okay to not apply for jobs right now just because your friends are doing so, it’s okay if you don’t end up adapting a new hobby. It’s okay if you’re not able to attend the deadlines and it’s okay if you are unable to complete a simple task. Everything is okay at this point of time, just don’t be too hard on yourself and think you’re worthless. You don’t have to feel discouraged and question your worth just because you’re not as active as you used to be. You’re not the only one. We all are experiencing similar feelings and we are in this together.  We’ve stopped feeling ourselves anymore. We’re not able to meet our family and friends, to go out, attend our classes etc. making it increasingly hard for the individuals already dealing with depression.

Check on them, check on your friends and closed ones how they’re doing and tell them how you’re feeling. It’s in every case preferred to talk rather than just getting invested up with all the thoughts all alone.

There are some ways that may help you deal with depression:

  • Engage yourself in something you enjoy doing
  • exercise/yoga daily to get some positivity in life
  • Eat healthy
  • Talk to your friends and family about how you’re feeling
  • Take a break/ go on a vacation
  • Adapt a new hobby like painting, cooking or dancing
  • Set small targets for everyday and don’t over burden yourself with work
  • Keep yourself busy

Tend to look at things in a positive way. If you’re not able to sleep just think that you’ll have the option to experience a beautiful sunrise. If you’re not able to follow your daily exercise regime, just put on some music and dance it out. On the off chance if you don’t want to eat the typical supper, just cook something tasty like a pizza or some brownies for yourself (it is actually therapeutic). If you feel low, go out in the balcony and see the sky, appreciate the beauty of it (because it has never looked so clear and pretty in years) click some pictures. If you don’t feel like working, take a break, watch your favorite show, read something online. You are not able to meet your friends but look at it this way, you’ve started connecting with people you’ve not talked to in the longest time. Girls, who have stopped you from shaving your legs and dying your hair?  Do it, just do anything which may make you feel better.

These are some helpline numbers and emails where you can reach for psychological help (for those residing in India):

  • Children first – 9650044774 or email [email protected]
  • NIMHANS – 080 4611 0007
  • iCALL psychological Helpline – 9372048501 . 9920241248 . 8369799513 or email [email protected]
  • Samaritans Mumbai – +91 8422984528/29/30 or email [email protected]
  • Therapy In India – therapyinindia.com
  • E-therapy India – an accessible and affordable online page for mental well-being.
  • Indian Psychoanalytic Society – +91 9874124224
  • Snehi – 9582208181

Anurati Aggarwal, 22 year old from New Delhi. I am an interior design student currently working with a firm as a design intern. I love dancing, sketching and watching drama t.v shows. I am living with Type 1 Diabetes from past 7 years and I write about how living with it is like on my blog. https://parindaaa.wordpress.com/



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