Letter from a Feline Friend


Well, hello human!

It’s me, your feline friend, and I am here to school you on a thing or two today. You see, I’ve been observing you for a while now, and I can’t help but notice how lonely you all seem to be. It’s a shame, really. And what’s worse, you seem to project that insecurity onto us cats, calling us emotionally distant. Well, I’m here to set the record straight.

First of all, let’s talk about loneliness. You humans are so obsessed with being connected to each other all the time. You’re constantly on your phones, your computers, your tablets, your whatever-the-heck-else-you-use-to-stay-plugged-in. You’re always talking to someone, texting someone, liking someone’s posts on social media. But are you really connecting? Or are you just going through the motions?

Meanwhile, us cats are perfectly content to just be. We don’t need constant stimulation or attention. We’re happy to curl up in a sunbeam or chase a toy mouse around the living room. We know how to be alone without feeling lonely. Maybe you humans could learn a thing or two from us.

But no, instead you project your own insecurities onto us cats. You accuse us of being emotionally distant, of not loving you enough. But the truth is, we just have different ways of showing affection. We’re not all about the physical touch like you humans are. Sometimes we’ll sit on your lap or rub up against your leg, but other times we’ll just sit nearby and purr. We might bring you a dead mouse as a gift, or we might just gaze at you with our big, beautiful eyes. It’s all our way of showing some love!

You see, us cats are experts at the art of emotional subtlety. We don’t wear our hearts on our sleeves like you humans do. We don’t go around moping and sighing and making a big fuss about our feelings. We’re more understated, more nuanced. We express our emotions in ways that are often too subtle for you to pick up on.

For example, when we purr, it’s not just because we’re content or happy. It’s also because we’re feeling relaxed and comfortable in your presence. When we knead on your lap, it’s not just because we want attention. It’s also because we feel safe and secure with you. And when we give you that slow blink, it’s not just because we’re sleepy. It’s also because we trust you and feel a deep sense of love and affection for you.

And speaking of love, let’s talk about your obsession with control. You humans are always trying to control everything you remotely like, including us cats. You want us to behave a certain way, to come when you call, to snuggle with you on command. But that’s just not how we roll.

We’re independent creatures, and we like it that way. We don’t need you to tell us what to do or when to do it. We’ll come to you when we want to, not because you’re calling us. We’ll snuggle with you when we feel like it, not because you’re demanding it. And if we don’t feel like doing something, we won’t do it. You can’t control us, no matter how hard you try. We are feminists like that.

But maybe that’s what scares you humans the most. Maybe you’re so used to being in control of everything that the idea of something – or someone – being beyond your grasp is terrifying. Maybe that’s why you project your own feelings of insecurity onto us cats, calling us emotionally distant because you can’t control our affection.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. It’s okay to not be in control all the time. It’s okay to let go and let things happen naturally. It’s okay to be vulnerable and to let others in. You might find that you enjoy it.

So, there you have it. Humans may be lonely creatures, but that doesn’t mean you have to project your own feelings of insecurity onto us cats. We may be independent, but we love you in our own way. And maybe, just maybe, if you learn to let go of your need for control, you’ll find that you’re not so lonely after all.

But in the meantime, I’ll just be over here, lounging in your Amazon cardboard box and being fabulous. Because that’s just how we roll.

Farnaz Fatima has a postgraduate degree in Politics and International Studies. Currently working in the world of advertising, she is interested in exploring the intersections of Gender, Mental Health and Popular Culture through her writings.

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