The Month of February, “February isn’t just a month; it’s a heartbeat—each day pulsing closer to Valentine’s week, where love writes its own story in the language of roses and whispers.”
Well it’s not that flowery, 2024 sales in valentine’s week it is 2x than usual days either is of roses, gifts, chocolates and list is in on and on. Valentine’s Week imposes social and cultural pressures by promoting the idea that love must be shown through material gifts or elaborate gestures. Marketing, social media, and entertainment create expectations that participation is necessary to validate relationships. This can lead to stress in romantic partnerships, as people feel obligated to meet societal standards or compete with others’ celebrations online. The emphasis on visible displays often overshadows genuine emotional connection. Additionally, it marginalizes those who are single, financially constrained, or value non-material expressions of love, reinforcing consumer-driven norms at the expense of authenticity and inclusivity. Facing more Emotion labour as People may feel obligated to partake in these consumer rituals to avoid disappointing their partners or to maintain their image on social media. The sincerity of the emotion may become secondary to the act of giving or receiving gifts.
Here It’s not the just end of commercialisation of love, how can we forget Dating Apps, the rise of digital dating apps has significantly reshaped the landscape of romantic relationships in contemporary society. These platforms, once seen as niche tools for meeting new people, have now become an integral part of how individuals form, navigate, and maintain relationships. This approach to dating, often dominated by algorithms and data-driven matching, encourages users to treat emotional connections as marketable goods. The experience of love, attraction, and intimacy becomes increasingly mediated by technology, where algorithms—designed to predict compatibility based on data points—decide who meets whom, and how. In this context, users engage in a constant cycle of swiping, matching, and evaluating potential partners, often reducing complex human emotions to a series of choices made in a matter of seconds. While these platforms promise the ideal of “true love” or a compatible partner, they simultaneously foster an environment where emotional value is commodified, packaged, and sold to users based on consumerist principle.
On dating apps, this emotional labour is both internal and external. Users curate profiles, select the most flattering photos, and strategize responses to appeal to a broad audience.
Dempsey’s study, The Dark Side of Online Dating: The Experience of Tinder Users, examines the negative effects of Tinder’s design and culture on users. The study highlights issues like superficiality, commodification, and pressure to conform to ideal beauty standards. Tinder’s swipe-based system reduces human interactions to transactions, leading to feelings of objectification and dehumanization. It also fosters instant gratification, contributing to ghosting, anxiety, and reduced trust in relationships, while its algorithmic filtering reinforces biases and limits meaningful connections. Dempsey argues that Tinder prioritizes convenience and profit over users’ well-being, urging a critical evaluation of digital dating’s impact on relationships.
In India, the emotional labour demanded by dating apps is shaped by unique cultural and societal pressures. Users are required to curate profiles that align with both modern ideals of individuality and traditional values of respectability. This dual burden is particularly pronounced for women who must strike a balance between projecting independence and adhering to familial expectations. For example, a woman showcasing her professional achievements might also emphasize her traditional values in subtle ways, such as mentioning family or cultural interests. This constant self-monitoring and curation reflect Hochschild’s concept of “deep acting,” where users internalize the emotional labour required to reconcile these conflicting demand. Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have transformed romantic relationships in India, particularly among its urban youth.
Preferences and systemic biases embedded in these algorithms can perpetuate exclusion, with studies revealing lighter-skinned women receive more attention. This digital reflection of cultural norms raises concerns about fairness, diversity, and inclusivity, impacting user experiences and societal dynamics. Understanding these challenges is crucial to addressing the intersection of technology, culture, and relationships in modern India. Dating platforms like Tinder and Bumble use AI and machine learning to analyse user data for compatibility, relying on algorithms like Tinder’s “Elo-based” system, which ranks users’ desirability, or Bumble’s behavioural metrics. However, these globally developed systems often reflect Western ideals of attractiveness and compatibility.
The freemium model, offering advanced features through paid subscriptiours urban, affluent users, creating a digital divide. Paid features enhance visibility and matching success, commodifying romance and sidelining economically disadvantaged groups. Social hierarchies persist as users infer caste and religion through profiles, leading to discrimination and echo chambers, while rural and non-English-speaking users remain marginalized. These platforms, while expanding romantic opportunities, often reinforce societal inequalities.
To democratize dating in India, culturally sensitive algorithms and inclusive practices are essential, addressing the complex interplay of technology, culture, and relationships. In India, gender dynamics on dating apps are shaped by patriarchal norms, with male users outnumbering females (62:38 ratios on Tinder), leading to harassment and unsolicited messages. A 2020 Bumble survey found 83% of Indian women experienced inappropriate behaviour. The algorithms also favour Eurocentric beauty standards, side-lining Indian skin tones and body types, reinforcing biases linked to media and advertising. Swiping culture prioritizes physical appearance over deeper compatibility, marginalizing those who don’t meet idealized beauty standards. This superficial approach overlooks cultural values and familial expectations, reflecting Bourdieu’s concept of cultural capital. Swiping culture on dating apps in India creates addictive, dopamine-driven cycles that prioritize instant gratification and superficial connections, often leading to low self-esteem, especially among marginalized groups. The emphasis on appearance over deeper compatibility, coupled with societal pressures, exacerbates mental health challenges.
To address these issues, platforms should prioritize algorithmic transparency, inclusive design, and localized features, such as caste neutral filters and enhanced safety for women and LGBTQ+ users. Affordable access and community engagement are also key to ensuring these platforms are equitable. Promoting meaningful interactions and educating users about shared values can reduce the emotional toll and encourage more genuine connections.
Saloni Khandelwal, MA(Political Studies), Jawaharlal Nehru University
