Next Chandrayaan: Some Suggestions

chandrayaan launch 759

Dear Scientists and MITROS at ISRO.

Greetings from the Indian People!

Even though the Mission failed its fine. We have faith in the Institutions that Nehruji founded.

To ensure the Mission’s success, the next time both Modi & Shah need to be seated in the Satellite & driving the Rover on the Moon. So do create and design the Satellite accordingly.

So here are “13 Proposals” on behalf of the Nation:

1) The next Satellite design must include a 4-Seater, Modi-Shah in front, Arnab-Zee at the back.

2) The Satellite can be called the 4 MITROS, like the 3 AMIGOS!!

3) A Fridge to store Gujarati Farsan & Modis’ Mushrooms. You can term this as NASTA-Without-NASA, as this gesture will warm Putin’s heart.

4) Closet for Modi’s Designer jackets matching the colour of the Moons’ surface.

5) Communication System – from Moon to Earth, for Amit Shah to give instructions to ED, SC, EC, RBI, CBI, Bhai’s, Don’s, Bootleggers and Defectors from Parties must be ensured. (Languages: In Gujarati, Hindi, English…… English keeping only Yedurappa in mind, as we don’t really care two hoots for Tamils & Keralites)

6) Also another Communication System – Earth to Moon – for Ambani-Adani to give instructions to Modi-Shah, especially on Privatisation, Mining, Oil & Gas, 5G, Water, The-Air-We-Breathe, Real Estate matters…..both on the Moon, Kashmir….. (Here only in Gujarati, obviously)

7) The Rover too must be a 4-Seater that will travel and take videos & photos, of Modi, Amit Shah…. and yes of the Moon as well.

Here Arnab will drive, whilst Modi will wave his hands to the Moonlings. If they don’t respond to the Great Leader…… then Amit Shah will take care of them….

8) As soon as they land, an Automatic Tent with a Music System must unfold for Modi-Shah to perform the latest Dandiya-Garba moves. Our American Desis too will be joining the party. May the Force be with them all.

9) Photos of the Moon’s surface must be first sent to Minister Gadkari, so that he understands that the Roads here are worse than the surface of the Moon.

10) Also the 4 Mitros need to take care that that they do not wander into any of the HOLLYWOOD Sets of the Transformers, Moonraker, Apollo 13, A Space Odyssey & the First Man.

11) As for the Muslims, do start finding a Moon from another Planet to figure out your Eid, like from Jupiter or Saturn…….as this Moon will soon be not-so-Pak anymore.

12) We Secularists will soon have to plan our own Mission, to establish a Liberal, Secular, Democratic, Egalitarian, Progressive, Gender Just, Casteless, Classless Colony on the Moon. The Colony will include Leftists, Phule-Ambedkarites, Gandhians, Socialists, Nehruvians, Ecologists, Human Rights Activists, Intellectuals, Journalists, Writers, Historians, Rationalists, Scientists – and Film Avatars from the South, to counter the Hindutva Fascists.
In short, all the endangered secular species…….

13) Lastly, a message to Modi Bhakts – “MODI HAI TO MUMKIN NAHI!!”

I hope you all take my Chandra-yawn, or Chandra-yarn based suggestions seriously……


Feroze Mithiborwala is an activist




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