A Parody Of Mann Ki Baat

mann ki baat Modi

I came to power in 2014. Till that period, all the sickulars, commies, libtards, prestitutes ruled the country. The land called India was destroyed by these anti-nationals. From the time I became the prime minister, I took on a war with these anti-national forces. I identified all the Urban naxals and Islamic jehadists by their speeches and dresses and got them arrested and put into jail.

Immediately I identified the top national priorities. I built up a nationalist army to support the swayam sevaks the leading nationalists of this country. The digital warriors in the IT cell, the lynch army, nationalist media, social media warriors, shouting journalists extended support to our frontline nationalist warriors from Nagpur.

I knew for India to grow it had to build and construct new structures. Hence I went about building huge statues and temples. There are more to follow. India did not build the huge statues earlier as it happened during my period.

I took the country forward on all the fronts. It reached top position from bottom on hunger index, human development index, and environmental index. It also topped on being the most (un)safe place for women. For the first time in 45 years, we peaked on (un)employment percentages. The country witnessed a positive growth of (-23.9%) in the recent quarter.

However, for all the progress, I am not going to sit. Unlike Harvard, I believe in hard-work and work 18-20 hours a day. With my effort, I have taken the country forward as the leading one in terms of growing cases of corona in the world. Very soon I will make India the topmost on the corona front. I assure this to my 135 crore Indians.

These are tough times for our nation. But we waged a war. We attacked apps of a neighboring country. We attacked all the harmless students, youth, women, minorities, adivasis, Dalits demanding their space in this nation. We took away all the rights of the workers. Who-ever questioned, we arrested and implicated into cases. Tough times need tough solutions. Hence we converted the whole country into a national prison. All the dissidents – freedom loving, justice demanding are being put into prison. Kashmir has been converted into the largest prison in the world.

I believe in truth. Hence when I speak, I only speak the truth. In saying the truth, I rewrite history, mix mythology with history, undo the words that I said earlier and attribute the words unsaid by others to them. I go in the line of satya meva jayate. To spread the truth we have started a lot of social media sites, IT cell, news sites which the opposition calls as fake news. I assure to my 135 crore Indians, if I am put on a lie detector test, I am going to fail.

I have a vision for a new India. A lynching India, an unemployed India, a stagnant India, an unequal India, an intolerant India, a violent India, a communal India, an undemocratic India.

My Dear Indians, help me to help you.

Jain Hind

A Nationalist

(By an Indian Citizen)



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