Life is to live not to mourn upon


A suicide note left by an 18-year-old JEE aspirant on 29th of January at Kota (Rajasthan) before hanging herself in her room saying “Sorry Mummy Papa, I can’t do JEE exam. I am the worst daughter and a loser and found suicide as the last option” is something so serious to think and worry upon. What compelled this budding aspirant to take such an extreme step and who is responsible for irreparable losses like this needs to be genuinely addressed so that such untoward incidents could eliminate from our society both in their frequency and magnitude.

We live in a diverse and dynamic landscape occupying more than 32 lakh square kilometres where we have plenty of things in our basket to rejoice upon and prosper. In the length and breadth of such a wide and vast nation there is no dearth of opportunities for the one who wants to work hard and prove his or her mettle. We are witness to hundreds of examples from our own people where passion and drive to achieve something substantial has made them to touch skies despite all odds. Magazines and news dailies give enough space to such news and events on regular basis where we find physically challenged people participate in special Olympics and Paralympics, children of tea-sellers and rickshaw pullers become top level bureaucrats, married and working ladies qualify in Indian police services or even people from downtrodden sections with an average educational background prove their worth in toughest engineering or economic services.

What makes it possible for these people to conquer such battles is nothing but their firm will to do something great for which a concrete plan, clarity of thoughts and a vision to see themselves at the succeeding end constitutes the basics.

On the other extreme, we also see great failures and shear disappointments out of physically sound and potentially fertile people from different socio-economic backgrounds with ample time and money at their hands. Instead of working hard and attain something substantial, they look upon world from their own gloomy and immature perspective where they lack self-confidence and fell for everything from drugs and delinquencies to frustrations and failures and ultimately end up their lives.

Our society is shrouded with multitude of such examples emanating from almost every quarter. A great number of farmers commit suicides every year, husband’s divorce their partners every now and then and people getting involved in actions and reactions against societal equilibrium. Alas! this is neither a gainful solution nor an approved one.

What leads to such negative vibes and detrimental tendencies is a million-dollar question. Everything depends on one’s mental setup and choice as well as how well an individual is able to balance his or her thought process and channelize it in a proper way so as to give it a positive and constructive vent instead of some irreparable loss.

Before putting up anything else, what lays the foundation of a positive mental setup needs to be addressed first. Personally, I feel that there is nothing as much important as one’s grooming at different stages of life in general and at the level of family in particular. It steers the wheel of one’s life as and when required in a positive direction and productive manner. Besides constructive grooming, providing a cooperative and stress-free environment to an individual not only makes him progressive and hardworking but also broadens his vision and enhances his outlook towards life which keeps him hopeful especially in his odd times. When a child’s parents have clarity of vision, well balanced exposure and experience about life’s troughs and crests, they act as a guiding lamp for their progeny to stand still and react boldly at every time when life strikes on them in it’s any form.

To commit suicide or to adopt any wrong direction is never ever a good choice. But a good choice would have been to take life easy in a “going on concern” and believe in one’s firm will and determination to come out of any such low Steady-State of affairs, despite slowly but consistently by thinking and believing that no any place, position or status is forever. Rather there is always a scope for alternatives and improvements in life. Ones present state must not be taken as permanent and irrevocable. Once such an approach would be adopted and worked upon, we would definitely see a positive change in every institution of our society and sector of our economy.

Life is a game of ups and downs. If we failed yesterday, today can be ours and if we fail today, we can strive a bit more to make our tomorrow much better.  Pain and pleasure are the two sides of the same coin in a never-ending process. If we can’t see beyond a certain track, it doesn’t mean road doesn’t exist. Either we are on the wrong track or must change the track until it finishes which is far better than to finish ourselves.

Dr Rafi Ramzan Dar is a freelancer and can be reached at [email protected]

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