Misconceptions Of Indians Over Sexuality!

Beauty provokes harassment, the law says, but it looks through men’s eyes when deciding what provokes it. ~ Naomi Wolf

As an Indian, I should be proud of my country and yes, I am proud of this land but what I’m not proud of are the civilians of this country. India became India when it had the concept of romance and love involved in the daily life with equality having a special place. It had the concept of same sex relationship involved even when religion wasn’t a proud part of our identity. Similarly, it had the concept of intercourse induced inside both non religious and religious texts. Even if we visit an architecture which has been a part of religion from thousands of years, we can find that the old India had several misconceptions about sexuality and tolerance which finally leads to pushing of the civilians to perform the activities which reduces our pride and honour as a tolerant and conceptually developed civilization, but never reduces the pride of the nation since no matter how intolerant the civilians become, the country finds tolerance whenever a single civilian speaks concretely.


India has given recognition to same sex relationship from a very old time but has never inculcated the relationship as a natural phenomenon. Though it has been portrayed in several religious texts like Bhagavad, Ramayana, Vedas etc., but every time the relationship has been the result of a curse or a trick of a deity to trap another deity or demon. Whether it is Vishnu transforming to Mohini to trick over the demons or Shiva uniting with Shakti to give birth to the universe. Everytime the same sex has been portrayed it has been a result of unnatural means or it completely contradicts the concept of homosexuality.

Consecutively, the texts started to dilute the concept of homosexuality and thus reducing it from daily studies and discussions making it an unnatural topic to have a discussion upon. The dilution also gave ample power to the misogynist or upper class to prohibit anyone who is homosexual in origin and thus making sexuality a freaking ominous term. The upper class Brahmins and Kshatriyas started a campaign against anyone who wanted to change from hetero to homosexual.

The havoc started to shape a misogyny inside the mind of their descendants which India today observes. Indians today have the same misconception but in a very different way. Indians today work on homosexuality, especially lesbian relationship, in several B – grade and bollywood movies because, Indians highly masturbate while watching lesbian movies. The porn industry has got its highest viewership from India and the most watched section from India is of lesbian porn videos. The reality is, we enjoy the same thing as our means of relaxation which is obscene for us the very next moment.

Today, we see the civilians talking about homosexuality in a more progressive manner but what the origin lacks is the naked concept of the term “homosexuality”. Writers and filmmakers try to portray homosexuality but deep inside the misogyny still works. They fail to show the true nature of Homosexuality. Whenever, good-for-nothing Indian commercial filmmakers try to portray homosexuality and transgenders in their movies, they fail badly. No matter whether it is “Girlfriend”, having Isha Kopikar hating men from her daily and professional life or Dostana showing its own misogyny of a confused mentality or showing misogyny over transgenders in every Govinda film. From a very long time, India has observed transgenders being portrayed as a mere cult which today is visible in the Indian minds. Few days back, one participant of a cultural function portrayed transgenders in the same way the misogynist filmmakers tried to portray, that is, by shaming the style of transgenders in a very unnatural and exaggerated manner.

Censor board is the prime criminal for which the idea of homosexuality in India is still impious and obscene. When Deepa Mehta made “Fire” the kiss between Nandita Das and Shabana Azmi was censored and right after that, the whole film was banned from being screened. Similarly, “Arekti Premer Golpo”, “Unfreedom”, “I Am” etc., went to the censor board to be censored for showing cunnilingus and discussions of sexuality. When Rituparno Ghosh started making film on Transgender and homosexual relationships, his films reached to a particular section due to their availability in only few sites and were never screened openly and thus never letting the films break the taboo of the Indians and so, I’m not proud of the system.


Few days back, I wrote an article on the obstacles of the people who want to open up about their sexual desires. As a biology student and teacher, I feel that sexual desire is one of the innate qualities we have inside us and whenever some Indians have tried to open up their doors of sexual desires, the label of obscenity hooked up them from coming openly. The famous religious text, “Kamasutra” is being neglected and is being obscenely portrayed by making B grade movies based on the book itself. Desire of intercourse is being given a bad shape by the patriarchal Indians to establish the obscene nature of women.

Biology tells us that neither testosterone (male hormone) nor progesterone (female hormone) is free off sexual desires. The hormones have been made to arouse humans irrespective of gender and it is not just responsible to give birth to children. Yet whenever a woman speaks on her sexual desires, patriarchy predicts that the woman is obsessed to having intercourse with every man. The concept is wrong. Kamasutra isn’t about establishing the insertion of a penis inside a vagina. Rather it is about the desires of a woman and man. Lust has never been a part of the text nor it has been a part of biology. Lust has always been a weapon of patriarchy to celebrate suppression of women on the basis of muscle power.

Today, a man doesn’t need to open up about his sexual desires neither he has to start a conversation with understanding and love to finally involve in sexual intercourse with the consent of the woman. A man just has to work on his lust to gear up his hormone. The nation has got civilians who believe that no matter how much modern a woman becomes, she has to stay in limit when it is about being painted nude or when she has to wear a backless dress or even when she has to speak on her very own body parts just like men do of their own body parts. Men do not have to care about any of the prohibition neither he is slammed for his misogyny.

Recently, when the web series “Four More Shots” was announced to be screened which opens the door of sexuality to a very honest level, patriarchy took another step to abuse the women of present India as “sexually hungry” without even thinking of how predatory is their own nature which believes in giving men a higher status in muscle, sexual desires, on screen sexual scenes, and suppression of feminist movies. When a woman utters the word “vagina”, which is her own body part only, the woman becomes obscene and a sex hungry human. But when a man abuses a woman on her sexual desires and calls her a “bitch”, it becomes a “mistake” (when caught) or “a traditional human” (when not slammed).


Take for example, the women of our religious texts have got more number of suppressed and romantically abused women, compared to independent women. When Kunti gave birth to Karna, having a father who gave the title of Suryaputra when he earned his fame, Kunti couldn’t call herself an independent mother because for religion it is a taboo and which led to many women and men believe that it is indeed obscene to have a child from an unidentified father even after five sexual abuses take place every second. Similarly, in Mecca, women are stoned to kill the devil which Muslims believe reside in women making religion merge with sexual abuse.

The chores of men and women has been framed according to religion and no matter, what the statistics say, we cannot deny the fact that our house has got equality to the perfect level. From the Indus Valley Civilization, women have been kept between four walls to take care of the house. She has to hide herself with a “Ghumta” from strangers and both of these traditions are followed in almost every part of our nation. The Muslims have the obscure trend where a woman has to wear a Hijab and she should obey her husband and father (male guardian) before taking any step. Denying that these have been abolished is just what is leading the country to sink down in patriarchy. Even the educated women fight to establish that Hijab is a good trend and they should be the house maker like Sita.

Feminism fails when women fail to understand that without equality even the simplest of the logic cannot attain momentum. The idea of fighting for women is possible only when the idolised dialogue “Aurat Maa ban Sakti hai isliye Shakti bhi bann sakti hai” (A woman can become a mother, and so she can also become a fighter), would be abolished. The above dialogue leads to the failure of every woman who doesn’t wish to/hasn’t/couldn’t become a mother. The idea of strength of a woman is not based on her ability to give birth. It is a patriarchal idea to claim that at first a woman should have the the sperm of a man inside her vagina to become a mother and then only she could be a tough fighter.

Similarly, until and unless equality isn’t established in every field between a man and a woman, it is not ideal to stop fighting. Whenever we say that a woman is stronger than a man, we are showing her weakness. And when, we distribute work after getting into domestic environment based on muscle, we are ruining feminism which is the only ideology that works according to nature. The abusive mentality of patriarchy has been established by religion and it can fought with rationality only when equality would sustain.

Suppression of women over sexual intercourse can be fought by opening up the biology of women. Idea of homosexuality can be kept with more clarity only when the filmmakers won’t show the kneeling of Homosexuals before patriarchy to show its rise only for a short moment. Similarly, equality would be established in professional work and daily chores only when the world would crave for old mentality of forcefully strengthening women. It is not just about feminism or the homosexuals. The idea is to fight for a world which is less dominating and believes in decoding everything that is against equality.

Kabir Deb is a published writer and poet. Born in Haflong and completed his Masters on Life Sciences from Assam University. His work has been published from different national and international magazine like Different bTruths, Counter Currents, Reviews, Cafe Dissensus, Spillwords magazine and his works rely on political activisvm. He recently won the Reuel International Poetry Prize in 2019. His debut book is now available in stores.




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